30 Happiness Tips: Program Your Life for Optimum Enjoyment

For many of us, the goal of life isn’t ultimate wealth, a massive amount of stuff, or the perfect car. It’s happiness, plain and simple.
Some people may be created happier than others, with enjoyment of life programmed into their hardwiring. For others, getting to happiness isn’t always that simple. You weren’t programmed that way.
But like any programming, yours can be changed. Rewrite your life program to include as many of the following tips as appeal to you, and the ultimate goal of happiness can be yours. If you’ve already achieved complete happiness, well done!

1. Experiment to find out what makes you happy. Different things make different people happy. If you aren’t sure what your hot spots are, experiment. Try different things out. Find out what you enjoy most. The answers just might surprise you. Try a few of the following for starters.

2. Surround yourself with others who are happy. If you are around angry, depressed or sad people, it will transfer to you. You can’t help it. But if you’re around people who are happy, that will also transfer to you. You’ll also learn their habits, and learn to react the way they do when something bad happens. Slowly weed out the negative influences on your life and replace them with positive ones.

3. Count your blessings. When something bad happens to you, try not to focus on it. Instead, take a minute to count your blessings. Everyone has good things in their lives, whether it is health or loved ones or whatever.

4. Gratitude sessions. Along those lines, it is a good practice to have a daily gratitude session. Think about what you have to be thankful for, and silently thank those who have done something good for you in some way. If you have time, take the time to call them or email them to thank them.

5. Think solutions. Instead of thinking about problems, move to the next step: how to solve it. When someone says to me, “Oh, this is so hard,” or “Oh, I can’t seem to do this,” or “Man, we don’t have any more of that,” I just ask them, “Well, what’s the solution?” If you develop solution-oriented thinking, you’ll be much happier.

6. Connect with others. As much as possible, spend time with those you love, and with others who you enjoy. It could be a simple phone call, or a short visit. Or take a day with the person or people you’d like to spend time with. Have a conversation, do things together, be intimate.

7. Accept things. We are often unaware of it, but we usually want things or people or ourselves to change. And that’s a sure way to lead to unhappiness, because we cannot control the world. We have to accept things as they are, try to understand them, even love them. Including and most especially ourselves: accept who you are, allow yourself to be yourself, try to understand and love yourself. Then do the same with the others in your life.

8. Take time to savor life. Instead of rushing from one thing to another, resolve to have less to do each day, less appointments and fewer tasks. Then do each thing slowly, with mindfulness and ease, and try to be present in the moment. And truly enjoy whatever it is you do, from talking to eating to walking to just sitting.

9. Notice small things. Along the same lines, try to notice when you feel good, or you’re not suffering, or you are tasting something really delicious, or you feel something cold or hot, anything. Noticing the little things will help keep you focused on the present.

10. Treat yourself. Take a few minutes each day to give yourself a little treat, whether that’s something like chocolate or berries, or a bubble bath, or walking barefoot in the grass, or taking a nap. Whatever it is, treat yourself. You deserve it.

11. This shall pass. When bad things happen, and you’re having trouble accepting it, think to yourself the same thing the ancients did: “This, too, shall pass.” And it will. And you’ll survive.

12. Volunteer. When you give to others, whether that’s money or the stuff you no longer need or your time and love, you become happier. It’s true. Take 5 minutes today to call a charity and volunteer to donate some time sometime this month. It will make a big difference in your life.

13. Follow your passions. If you do what you love to do, especially for a living, you wil be extremely happy. This is one of the best things you can do. If it seems impossible, don’t give up. Others have done it and you can too.

14. Look at your achievements. Instead of looking at what you haven’t done, or what you’ve failed at, think about what you have done. Many times that’s much more than we realize.

15. Laugh. Just the simple act of laughing can make you happier. Watch a funny movie, tell jokes, read a book by Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, go to humor sites on the Internet. And laugh your head off.

16. Realize that you deserve it. You deserve happiness. That simple statement is actually profound for many people, as they don’t believe they really deserve to be happy. It’s often unconscious. If you feel that within yourself, you need to first realize that you deserve happiness. Repeat it if necessary.

17. Get into the flow. There is a state of doing known as Flow, which is when you completely lose yourself in a task and forget about the world around you. It leads to happiness, and productivity. Set yourself up for it by clearing distractions, giving yourself a challenging (but accomplishable) task, and making it something that you like doing. Then try to lose yourself in that task.

18. Have a goal. Too many goals will lead to ineffectiveness. Try to choose one goal and really focus on it. And work to accomplish it. Goals lead to happiness, if you make progress on them.
19. Get inspired. Take time to read blogs or books or magazine articles about success stories related to what you want to do. It will get you energized.

20. Celebrate. When you do something right, when you accomplish something, when you feel like it, reward yourself. Celebrate. Have fun, and pat yourself on the back.

21. Autonomy. Try to have at least one area in your life where you have autonomy. It’s best if this is at work, but if not, find another place, such as a hobby or civic activity. You need to be in control of what you do to be happy.

22. Spend time doing something you love. Make room in your life by eliminating some of the commitments you don’t really like doing, and replacing them with something you truly love.

23. Show little acts of kindness. Each day, try to be kind to others in little ways, opening doors, smiling, giving up your place in line.

24. Exercise. Just a short walk or run could lift your spirits and reduce stress. Nothing difficult. Just get outside and move.

25. Catch negative thoughts. Monitor your thoughts. When you catch negative ones, try to think of something good instead. Corny, but it helps.

26. Jealousy doesn’t help. Many people obsess about others who are successful or happy. That gets you nowhere, fast. Instead, be happy for them. Then focus on yourself, and what you do right.

27. Stop watching and reading news. Sure, this sounds like a head-in-the-sand suggestion. But really, if you give this a try, you won’t miss a thing. And instead, you can focus on reading books and listening to music that lifts you up.

28. Learn something new. It’s strange how many of us are afraid to try new things, or admit we don’t know something. But learning new skills or new information is one of the most fun things there is to do. Give it a try.

29. Check out nature. Go and watch a sunrise or sunset. Watch the water, whether that’s a river or ocean or lake. Watch the stars, or the clouds. Watch animals. Watch people. Watch children. And be inspired by it all.

30. Laugh some more. When you are in the middle of a bad situation, look around you, realize the absurdity of the situation, and just laugh. In a year, no one will care. In two years, you’ll be laughing at this anyway. So laugh now, and be happy now.

By funinlife.wordpress.com

Fun Questionnaire

One of my Gather contacts posted this and asked her contacts if they would be interested in reposting their own. It's pretty fun - so here goes:

1. Were you named after anyone? I think my Dad had a friend by the name of April back in school...thus it becoming my name.
2. When was the last time you cried? Probably a few nights ago.
3. Do you like your handwriting? Not really, but it's legible!
4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Honey-roasted turkey.
5. Do you have kids? Yes-4 daughters, 2 sons, and one step-daughter.
6. If you were another person would you be friends with you? Of course! Though I'd think I was a little loopy. :)
7. Do you use sarcasm? NoOo...haha. Yes, yes I do.
8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes I do.
9. Would you bungee jump? Maybe...or maybe not.
10. What is your favorite cereal? Honestly I hate cereal, I haven't eaten it in a long time.
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Not usually.
12. Do you think you are strong? I like to think so.
13. What is your favorite ice cream? Cherry Garcia
14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Eyes
15. Red or Pink? That's tough, can I have both together?
16. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My crooked teeth.
17. Who do you miss the most? My oldest daughter, who is up in CT right now.
18. What color pants & shoes are you wearing? Blue Jeans and no shoes.
19. What was the last thing you ate? An egg salad sandwich (I've been on an egg salad kick lately).
20. What are you listening to right now? The sound of my typing.
21. If you were a Crayon, what color would you be? Red
22. Favorite Smells? Roses, the air after a thunderstorm.
23. Who was the last person you spoke w/ on the phone? My husband
24. Favorite sport(s) to watch? I don't really watch sports, would rather play!
25. Hair color? Blonde by choice, light brown naturally.
26. Eye color? blue-green
27. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Contacts, I haven't bought a pair of glasses in years though I should.
28. Favorite food? Pasta
29. Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings
30. Last movie you watched? I think it was "Till Death Do Us Part"
31. What color shirt are you wearing? Blue
32. Summer or Winter? Summer
33. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
34. Favorite Dessert? Cheesecake with strawberries
35. What books are you reading right now? None at the moment.
36. What is on your mouse pad? A game my husband used to play, Max Payne.
37. What did you watch on TV last night? Nothing.
38. Favorite sound? Silence (I think I've explained this before...hehe).
39. Rolling Stones or Beatles? The Beatles
40. Where's the farthest you've been from home? California
41. Where were you born? Norwich, Connecticut

Are We Having Fun Yet?

The other day, an online friend of whom I am quite fond made the extravagant claim that, were we to be pals in real life, she could teach me how to have fun. I was skeptical of her ability (or indeed, anyone's) to accomplish this. I've been thinking about it ever since, and wondering why I don't ever seem to have fun. I do have experiences I would consider to be satisfying, or enjoyable, but not "fun." I tried to define what I think fun actually is, and had a hard time figuring it out. I know it when I see it. Children seem to have fun playing, and so do my cats. Other adults seem to have fun at parties, or doing things like skiing. I came to the conclusion that "fun" involves: 1) an absence of need to accomplish anything concrete, and 2) a certain degree of abandon, or un-selfconsciousness.

As any of my readers will readily ascertain, both 1) and 2) are utterly foreign to my nature. I remember reading a book about Myers-Briggs personality typing a while ago, and coming out as an INTJ -- as part of the discussion of this personality type, there was a sentence that said: "It's almost heartbreaking to watch this type of person try to enjoy himself." I hadn't thought about that in a long time, but it came back to me as I was considering this issue.

I then started to wonder whether it's even important for me to be able to have fun. Perhaps I have a different internal definition of what "fun" is. I don't feel at ease unless I am doing something I consider to be worthwhile. The things that I see people doing for fun usually strike me as a complete waste of time (getting drunk, for example). Not too long ago, I was on my way to a chamber music concert, and someone said to me: "Have fun!" I was insulted by this, on some visceral level. I wasn't going in order to have fun. I was going to Get Something Out of It, which I did. It's quite important to me to Get Something Out of Things, which seems in some way adversarial to many people's concept of fun.

If I were going to cast a vote in favor of what I really need out of life, "fun" wouldn't be on the list. "Peace" would be the first item. This may explain why, in my unstructured leisure time, what I really like to do is sleep. Maybe I'd need less sleep if I enjoyed myself more. I don't know. In some sense I enjoyed writing this post, but I wouldn't say I had fun doing it.

Via David Rochester

STRESS: ARE YOU A MAKER, TAKER OR BREAKER?

Some years ago when my family was living in Europe, managing the financial operations of an American corporation, we were in the US for annual home leave and were invited to have dinner with my boss at his home. He was a high achieving corporate vice president and reported directly to the president and founder of the company. During dinner the subject turned to upper management employee who had just been told he needed to be treated for the effects stress and high blood pressure. My boss commented that he didn’t understand it; he felt no stress and his blood pressure were fine. His wife jumped in and said, “you don’t have stress or high blood pressure, you create stress and high blood pressure in others”.

We now more fully understand the negative effects on stress on out bodies and behaviors and recognize that stress can cause or contribute to serious physical conditions and interpersonal relations. Alcohol and drug abuse, financial irresponsibility, eating disorders, domestic violence and child abuse and neglect can all have their roots in feelings of stress.

How any person deals with stress is based on their personality, life experiences and the specific situation. Feeling stress in life threatening situations is certainly normal and, some would say, a survival characteristic, but our modern society has created conditions where many people feel stressed out as their normal condition, resulting in many physical, psychological and emotional dysfunctions.

I recognize three basic types of personalities relating to stress:

STRESS MAKERS: These are the people create stress in other by being demanding, angry, confrontational, or just plain unreasonable and difficult to deal with. My boss was not one of these types, he was brilliant and hard working, but simply had unrealistic expectations about what other people could accomplish. He expected everyone who worked for him to be as smart and hard working as he was. I had a good relationship with him because I had received several promotions as the result of my performance in several difficult assignments and my successes made him look good.

STRESS TAKERS: These are the people who seem to create stress in their lives as if it was their main reason for existence. They are constantly upset and distressed about some aspect of their lives. There may or not be a rational basis for their feelings of stress, but they always seem to have something to stress about. The stress they feel will often result in them creating additional stress because they make errors and misjudgments or turn to drugs, alcohol, other harmful behaviors to relieve their stress. They can also make themselves feel less stress by passing their stress along to other family members, friends for co-workers, expanding the circle of stress.

STRESS BREAKERS: Stress breakers are those persons who by their personality, education, experience, or a combination of all three, are capable of helping stress makers and takers to restore a more balanced approach to the stress that we all feel in our lives. This is one of the major functions of the mental health community; to help individuals solve stressful issues in their lives and understand how to avoid creating more stress.

Many people who are good are defusing stress have little or no formal training in mental health; they are simply calm, thoughtful, helpful people who have a personality that allows them to help the stressed-out people to find more balance in their lives.

Obviously this is a complex issue. We are discovering that some aspects of our personality may be influenced by our genetic heritage. Certainly our parents and general environment influence our attitudes and reactions to stress, as do our choices about how we live our lives and the values we embrace.

The damage stress can do to us and others are becoming more fully understood. Stress can be, and is in some cases is, a real killer. Stress does damage to our physical, mental and emotional health, resulting in higher healthcare costs, lost productivity and premature death. I am sure that untreated stress is to some degree responsible for the family murder/suicides that result in the loss of entire families. Each of us needs to inventory our own life stressors and take action to seek help to reduce or eliminate the sources of the stress.

If your life stresses are under control, reach out to family, friends and co-workers who seem to be having difficulties managing the stress in their lives and help them locate sources of help. Your local mental health association or United Way should be able to provide you with a starting point.

Via Duane B. greenville, SC

How to have a successful Marriage

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, “What a peaceful & loving couple “. The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

The Husband replied: “Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America, ” explained the man. “We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip, down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, “That’s once. “

“We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, “That’s twice. “

“We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, “What’s wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy?? ” She looked at ME, and quietly said, “That’s once. “

“And from that moment…..we have lived happily every after. “

Via funinlife.wordpress.com

Monkey lesson

In one classroom, teacher was teaching her students.

Teacher: There is one monkey, he has one banana and one watermelon, and one apple. There are too many things but at the end he get nothing because the farmer is coming. According to this what can you learn?

Teacher asked students to answer but no one could answer so she called Po Po.

Po Po: The monkey tries to teach us that we need to eat everything we have...