Showing posts with label Funny story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny story. Show all posts

Dec 19, 2007

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30 Happiness Tips: Program Your Life for Optimum Enjoyment

For many of us, the goal of life isn’t ultimate wealth, a massive amount of stuff, or the perfect car. It’s happiness, plain and simple.
Some people may be created happier than others, with enjoyment of life programmed into their hardwiring. For others, getting to happiness isn’t always that simple. You weren’t programmed that way.
But like any programming, yours can be changed. Rewrite your life program to include as many of the following tips as appeal to you, and the ultimate goal of happiness can be yours. If you’ve already achieved complete happiness, well done!

1. Experiment to find out what makes you happy. Different things make different people happy. If you aren’t sure what your hot spots are, experiment. Try different things out. Find out what you enjoy most. The answers just might surprise you. Try a few of the following for starters.

2. Surround yourself with others who are happy. If you are around angry, depressed or sad people, it will transfer to you. You can’t help it. But if you’re around people who are happy, that will also transfer to you. You’ll also learn their habits, and learn to react the way they do when something bad happens. Slowly weed out the negative influences on your life and replace them with positive ones.

3. Count your blessings. When something bad happens to you, try not to focus on it. Instead, take a minute to count your blessings. Everyone has good things in their lives, whether it is health or loved ones or whatever.

4. Gratitude sessions. Along those lines, it is a good practice to have a daily gratitude session. Think about what you have to be thankful for, and silently thank those who have done something good for you in some way. If you have time, take the time to call them or email them to thank them.

5. Think solutions. Instead of thinking about problems, move to the next step: how to solve it. When someone says to me, “Oh, this is so hard,” or “Oh, I can’t seem to do this,” or “Man, we don’t have any more of that,” I just ask them, “Well, what’s the solution?” If you develop solution-oriented thinking, you’ll be much happier.

6. Connect with others. As much as possible, spend time with those you love, and with others who you enjoy. It could be a simple phone call, or a short visit. Or take a day with the person or people you’d like to spend time with. Have a conversation, do things together, be intimate.

7. Accept things. We are often unaware of it, but we usually want things or people or ourselves to change. And that’s a sure way to lead to unhappiness, because we cannot control the world. We have to accept things as they are, try to understand them, even love them. Including and most especially ourselves: accept who you are, allow yourself to be yourself, try to understand and love yourself. Then do the same with the others in your life.

8. Take time to savor life. Instead of rushing from one thing to another, resolve to have less to do each day, less appointments and fewer tasks. Then do each thing slowly, with mindfulness and ease, and try to be present in the moment. And truly enjoy whatever it is you do, from talking to eating to walking to just sitting.

9. Notice small things. Along the same lines, try to notice when you feel good, or you’re not suffering, or you are tasting something really delicious, or you feel something cold or hot, anything. Noticing the little things will help keep you focused on the present.

10. Treat yourself. Take a few minutes each day to give yourself a little treat, whether that’s something like chocolate or berries, or a bubble bath, or walking barefoot in the grass, or taking a nap. Whatever it is, treat yourself. You deserve it.

11. This shall pass. When bad things happen, and you’re having trouble accepting it, think to yourself the same thing the ancients did: “This, too, shall pass.” And it will. And you’ll survive.

12. Volunteer. When you give to others, whether that’s money or the stuff you no longer need or your time and love, you become happier. It’s true. Take 5 minutes today to call a charity and volunteer to donate some time sometime this month. It will make a big difference in your life.

13. Follow your passions. If you do what you love to do, especially for a living, you wil be extremely happy. This is one of the best things you can do. If it seems impossible, don’t give up. Others have done it and you can too.

14. Look at your achievements. Instead of looking at what you haven’t done, or what you’ve failed at, think about what you have done. Many times that’s much more than we realize.

15. Laugh. Just the simple act of laughing can make you happier. Watch a funny movie, tell jokes, read a book by Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, go to humor sites on the Internet. And laugh your head off.

16. Realize that you deserve it. You deserve happiness. That simple statement is actually profound for many people, as they don’t believe they really deserve to be happy. It’s often unconscious. If you feel that within yourself, you need to first realize that you deserve happiness. Repeat it if necessary.

17. Get into the flow. There is a state of doing known as Flow, which is when you completely lose yourself in a task and forget about the world around you. It leads to happiness, and productivity. Set yourself up for it by clearing distractions, giving yourself a challenging (but accomplishable) task, and making it something that you like doing. Then try to lose yourself in that task.

18. Have a goal. Too many goals will lead to ineffectiveness. Try to choose one goal and really focus on it. And work to accomplish it. Goals lead to happiness, if you make progress on them.
19. Get inspired. Take time to read blogs or books or magazine articles about success stories related to what you want to do. It will get you energized.

20. Celebrate. When you do something right, when you accomplish something, when you feel like it, reward yourself. Celebrate. Have fun, and pat yourself on the back.

21. Autonomy. Try to have at least one area in your life where you have autonomy. It’s best if this is at work, but if not, find another place, such as a hobby or civic activity. You need to be in control of what you do to be happy.

22. Spend time doing something you love. Make room in your life by eliminating some of the commitments you don’t really like doing, and replacing them with something you truly love.

23. Show little acts of kindness. Each day, try to be kind to others in little ways, opening doors, smiling, giving up your place in line.

24. Exercise. Just a short walk or run could lift your spirits and reduce stress. Nothing difficult. Just get outside and move.

25. Catch negative thoughts. Monitor your thoughts. When you catch negative ones, try to think of something good instead. Corny, but it helps.

26. Jealousy doesn’t help. Many people obsess about others who are successful or happy. That gets you nowhere, fast. Instead, be happy for them. Then focus on yourself, and what you do right.

27. Stop watching and reading news. Sure, this sounds like a head-in-the-sand suggestion. But really, if you give this a try, you won’t miss a thing. And instead, you can focus on reading books and listening to music that lifts you up.

28. Learn something new. It’s strange how many of us are afraid to try new things, or admit we don’t know something. But learning new skills or new information is one of the most fun things there is to do. Give it a try.

29. Check out nature. Go and watch a sunrise or sunset. Watch the water, whether that’s a river or ocean or lake. Watch the stars, or the clouds. Watch animals. Watch people. Watch children. And be inspired by it all.

30. Laugh some more. When you are in the middle of a bad situation, look around you, realize the absurdity of the situation, and just laugh. In a year, no one will care. In two years, you’ll be laughing at this anyway. So laugh now, and be happy now.
By funinlife.wordpress.com

Dec 17, 2007

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Are We Having Fun Yet?

The other day, an online friend of whom I am quite fond made the extravagant claim that, were we to be pals in real life, she could teach me how to have fun. I was skeptical of her ability (or indeed, anyone's) to accomplish this. I've been thinking about it ever since, and wondering why I don't ever seem to have fun. I do have experiences I would consider to be satisfying, or enjoyable, but not "fun." I tried to define what I think fun actually is, and had a hard time figuring it out. I know it when I see it. Children seem to have fun playing, and so do my cats. Other adults seem to have fun at parties, or doing things like skiing. I came to the conclusion that "fun" involves: 1) an absence of need to accomplish anything concrete, and 2) a certain degree of abandon, or un-selfconsciousness.

As any of my readers will readily ascertain, both 1) and 2) are utterly foreign to my nature. I remember reading a book about Myers-Briggs personality typing a while ago, and coming out as an INTJ -- as part of the discussion of this personality type, there was a sentence that said: "It's almost heartbreaking to watch this type of person try to enjoy himself." I hadn't thought about that in a long time, but it came back to me as I was considering this issue.

I then started to wonder whether it's even important for me to be able to have fun. Perhaps I have a different internal definition of what "fun" is. I don't feel at ease unless I am doing something I consider to be worthwhile. The things that I see people doing for fun usually strike me as a complete waste of time (getting drunk, for example). Not too long ago, I was on my way to a chamber music concert, and someone said to me: "Have fun!" I was insulted by this, on some visceral level. I wasn't going in order to have fun. I was going to Get Something Out of It, which I did. It's quite important to me to Get Something Out of Things, which seems in some way adversarial to many people's concept of fun.

If I were going to cast a vote in favor of what I really need out of life, "fun" wouldn't be on the list. "Peace" would be the first item. This may explain why, in my unstructured leisure time, what I really like to do is sleep. Maybe I'd need less sleep if I enjoyed myself more. I don't know. In some sense I enjoyed writing this post, but I wouldn't say I had fun doing it.

Via David Rochester

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How to have a successful Marriage

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, “What a peaceful & loving couple “. The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

The Husband replied: “Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America, ” explained the man. “We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip, down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, “That’s once. “

“We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, “That’s twice. “

“We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, “What’s wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy?? ” She looked at ME, and quietly said, “That’s once. “

“And from that moment…..we have lived happily every after. “

Via funinlife.wordpress.com

Dec 3, 2007

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Late for school

Po Po was late for a weekend class so her teacher asked her.

Teacher: Po Po, you know that we have extra class during this weekend, why are still late?
Po Po: Atually I should have been for fishing with my dad but he doesnot allow me to go with him. That is why I am late.
Teacher: He is right. He doesnot allow you to go because he wants you to study. You know study is very important!
Po Po: Coz he has only one fishing rod....

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Family responsibility

A boy and a girl are having conversation together:

Boy: In my family, everyone have their own responsibility!
Girl: Oh that is great!
Boy: Sure! My father has to wash dishes and my mother has to cook.
Girl: And how about you?
Boy: For me my responsibility is to eat!

Nov 17, 2007

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Cleaver student

Jame is a very cleaver but lazy student in the class. One day the teacher asked every students needed to draw a picture of anything they wanted.

When the time come, the teacher collected everyone pictures. Jame submitted his paper just with his name.

Teacher corrected everyone picture untill the picture of one student which just on Jame's picture. Teacher admired the picture with colorful and good. It was the picture of a cat.

When the teacher turned to the next picture which was Jame's picture, teacher asked:

Teacher: Jame, where is the picture.
Jame: I drew the picture already.
Teacher: I can't see nothing on your paper.
Jame: I drew a picture of a fish.
Teacher: Where is your fish?
Jame: My fish was eaten by the cat already.

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More than 90 FREE

A new cinema just started its first film so they advertised that anyone older than 70 could watch the film for free. When the film started, many old people whose age more than 70 came to the cinema so they couldn't get any money.

Next day, they advertised that anyone older than 90 could watch the film for free. When the film started, again many old people whose age more than 90 came to the cinema so they couldn't get any money.

They were very angry so they advertised that anyone older than 90 come with their parents can watch the film free. When the film started, no one came they still couldn't get any money.

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Next is your turn

A lady suspected that her husband had another girl so she decided to buy a gun to kill her husband. After buying the gun, when she backed home she saw her husband really slept with another girl.

Feeling very depress she took the and pointed to her head. Her husband seeing her was trying to kill herself said that:

Husband: No! No! Don't do like this!

Wife: Shut up! After me is your turn!

Nov 4, 2007

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Not remember

One day a man tried to concentrate to ask his girlfriend to marry.

"Darling! would you marry me?", the man said.

After thinking a little while she relied " yes, I accept".

After hearing like this, the man was so happy and took her back home. The man usually forget so at night when we was about to go to bad he forgot if she accept to marry him or not. He called her.

"Darling! did you accept to marry me or not this afternoon?" the man asked.

"I accept to marry you. Thank for asking me about it coz I also forget who ask me to marry too." the girl reply.

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The same

A lady is telling her boyfriend about their love:

Lady: Darling! Now our love is more likely to be the same as Romeo and Juliet!!!

Man: Why? Romantic?

Lady: What? The same that even my brother want to kill you!!! So we should break up now and love othere without such burdom...

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First Reaction

Two teenager are having a converstion:

First teenager: When you see a beautiful lady, what is your first raction?

Second teenager: Firt, I look around her.

First teenager: Why you look around? Not look at her?

Second teenager: Look around to know if she has boyfriend or not!!!!

Oct 25, 2007

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Teacher's punishment

In one classroom, the teacher clearified the disciplinary to students "If anyone found chatting while teaching, he or she must stand out side classroom and say what they are chatting out loud."

One day just when the teacher arrived, he found that Jack was chatting with his classmat.

Teacher: "Jack, you should know what you should do, ok?"

Jack without a word knowing he was wrong so he wen out and shout that "Teacher forget zipping, teacher forget zipping!!!"

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Cleaver man

A man was having dinner at his girlfriend's house. When he was about to leave her house, it started to rain heavily. His girlfriend asked him to stay over night at her house. After thinking for a little while, he decided to stay. The girl went to kitchen to take some desert for him but when she out, she couldn't find him.

A while later, the man arrive at the door with his body wet. The girl asked him "where have you been?" The man replied "I just went to my house to take my pillo"

Oct 20, 2007

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Funny conversation

Paul : You drive moto-taxi everyday?

Jame : Yes, sir !

Pual : You not creative!! why not you think? make money many many more!! you not have idea??

Jame : I suppose I could give you some lessons to improve your english!!!

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He Is Arisen

He Is Arisen

On the first day of the week, as the sun did arise,
The women went to the cave;
Bearing spices sweet to anoint the head and feet
Of the crucified Lord where He lay.
Mary Magdelena led the way
with Mary the mother of James;
Joanna and the others walking just behind
On the morning of the third day.

As they approached the place where Jesus lay,
They saw that the stone had been rolled away.
Sitting on the stone, all dressed in white,
Was the angel of the Lord who addressed their fright saying"Fear ye not: I know that ye seek Jesus.
Why seek ye the living among the dead?
He is not here. He is not here,
He is arisen as He said."
He is arisen.
Alleluia, Amen.

"Come and look at the place where the Savior did lie.
See the linen cloths that He wore.
Now go and tell the world what you have seen,
And tell them that I say,

"Fear ye not: I know that ye seek Jesus.
Why seek ye the living among the dead?
He is not here. He is not here,
He is arisen as He said."

Oct 19, 2007

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Funny interview, US Embassy Interview

A man was interviewed at US Embassy for a VISA.

Consul: What is your name?
Arab: Alexandro Marero
Consul: Sex?
Arab: 10 times a week.
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab: Both male and female and sometimes even CAMALS.
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab: Yes, cows and dogs too!!!
Consul: Man,..........isn't it hostile?
Arab: Horse style, dog style, any style!!!
Consult: Oh!...........dear!!!
Arab: Deer? No, deer, they run too fast!!!!

Oct 8, 2007

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Love and hate letter

Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative. This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However,the girl's father does not like him and wants them stop their relationship......and so.. the boy wrote this letter to the girl. He knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter first

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter tothe girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THELINES", meaning- only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd No.)
So.. please try reading it again! It's so smart &

http://123poem.wordpress.com/

Oct 7, 2007

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Funny Quotes On Marriage Day

"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." -Woody Allen.
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." -Rodney Dangerfield.
"Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man'sgenitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams.
"A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two peopleremembering the same thing." -Duane Dewel.
"When you see a married couple walking down the street, the onethat's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad." -Helen Rowland
"I have never really understood this liking for war. It panders toinstincts already well catered for in any respectable domestic establishment."-Alan Bennett

"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheatin Europe." -Jackie Mason
"Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in thehope of pulling out an eel." -Leonardo Di Vinci.
"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't likeand give her a house." -Lewis Grizzard.
"I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out towhom it may concern." -Mickey Rooney.
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield.
"The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money." -Johnny Carson
http://123poem.wordpress.com/