Showing posts with label Funny quote. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny quote. Show all posts

Dec 19, 2007

0

30 Happiness Tips: Program Your Life for Optimum Enjoyment

For many of us, the goal of life isn’t ultimate wealth, a massive amount of stuff, or the perfect car. It’s happiness, plain and simple.
Some people may be created happier than others, with enjoyment of life programmed into their hardwiring. For others, getting to happiness isn’t always that simple. You weren’t programmed that way.
But like any programming, yours can be changed. Rewrite your life program to include as many of the following tips as appeal to you, and the ultimate goal of happiness can be yours. If you’ve already achieved complete happiness, well done!

1. Experiment to find out what makes you happy. Different things make different people happy. If you aren’t sure what your hot spots are, experiment. Try different things out. Find out what you enjoy most. The answers just might surprise you. Try a few of the following for starters.

2. Surround yourself with others who are happy. If you are around angry, depressed or sad people, it will transfer to you. You can’t help it. But if you’re around people who are happy, that will also transfer to you. You’ll also learn their habits, and learn to react the way they do when something bad happens. Slowly weed out the negative influences on your life and replace them with positive ones.

3. Count your blessings. When something bad happens to you, try not to focus on it. Instead, take a minute to count your blessings. Everyone has good things in their lives, whether it is health or loved ones or whatever.

4. Gratitude sessions. Along those lines, it is a good practice to have a daily gratitude session. Think about what you have to be thankful for, and silently thank those who have done something good for you in some way. If you have time, take the time to call them or email them to thank them.

5. Think solutions. Instead of thinking about problems, move to the next step: how to solve it. When someone says to me, “Oh, this is so hard,” or “Oh, I can’t seem to do this,” or “Man, we don’t have any more of that,” I just ask them, “Well, what’s the solution?” If you develop solution-oriented thinking, you’ll be much happier.

6. Connect with others. As much as possible, spend time with those you love, and with others who you enjoy. It could be a simple phone call, or a short visit. Or take a day with the person or people you’d like to spend time with. Have a conversation, do things together, be intimate.

7. Accept things. We are often unaware of it, but we usually want things or people or ourselves to change. And that’s a sure way to lead to unhappiness, because we cannot control the world. We have to accept things as they are, try to understand them, even love them. Including and most especially ourselves: accept who you are, allow yourself to be yourself, try to understand and love yourself. Then do the same with the others in your life.

8. Take time to savor life. Instead of rushing from one thing to another, resolve to have less to do each day, less appointments and fewer tasks. Then do each thing slowly, with mindfulness and ease, and try to be present in the moment. And truly enjoy whatever it is you do, from talking to eating to walking to just sitting.

9. Notice small things. Along the same lines, try to notice when you feel good, or you’re not suffering, or you are tasting something really delicious, or you feel something cold or hot, anything. Noticing the little things will help keep you focused on the present.

10. Treat yourself. Take a few minutes each day to give yourself a little treat, whether that’s something like chocolate or berries, or a bubble bath, or walking barefoot in the grass, or taking a nap. Whatever it is, treat yourself. You deserve it.

11. This shall pass. When bad things happen, and you’re having trouble accepting it, think to yourself the same thing the ancients did: “This, too, shall pass.” And it will. And you’ll survive.

12. Volunteer. When you give to others, whether that’s money or the stuff you no longer need or your time and love, you become happier. It’s true. Take 5 minutes today to call a charity and volunteer to donate some time sometime this month. It will make a big difference in your life.

13. Follow your passions. If you do what you love to do, especially for a living, you wil be extremely happy. This is one of the best things you can do. If it seems impossible, don’t give up. Others have done it and you can too.

14. Look at your achievements. Instead of looking at what you haven’t done, or what you’ve failed at, think about what you have done. Many times that’s much more than we realize.

15. Laugh. Just the simple act of laughing can make you happier. Watch a funny movie, tell jokes, read a book by Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, go to humor sites on the Internet. And laugh your head off.

16. Realize that you deserve it. You deserve happiness. That simple statement is actually profound for many people, as they don’t believe they really deserve to be happy. It’s often unconscious. If you feel that within yourself, you need to first realize that you deserve happiness. Repeat it if necessary.

17. Get into the flow. There is a state of doing known as Flow, which is when you completely lose yourself in a task and forget about the world around you. It leads to happiness, and productivity. Set yourself up for it by clearing distractions, giving yourself a challenging (but accomplishable) task, and making it something that you like doing. Then try to lose yourself in that task.

18. Have a goal. Too many goals will lead to ineffectiveness. Try to choose one goal and really focus on it. And work to accomplish it. Goals lead to happiness, if you make progress on them.
19. Get inspired. Take time to read blogs or books or magazine articles about success stories related to what you want to do. It will get you energized.

20. Celebrate. When you do something right, when you accomplish something, when you feel like it, reward yourself. Celebrate. Have fun, and pat yourself on the back.

21. Autonomy. Try to have at least one area in your life where you have autonomy. It’s best if this is at work, but if not, find another place, such as a hobby or civic activity. You need to be in control of what you do to be happy.

22. Spend time doing something you love. Make room in your life by eliminating some of the commitments you don’t really like doing, and replacing them with something you truly love.

23. Show little acts of kindness. Each day, try to be kind to others in little ways, opening doors, smiling, giving up your place in line.

24. Exercise. Just a short walk or run could lift your spirits and reduce stress. Nothing difficult. Just get outside and move.

25. Catch negative thoughts. Monitor your thoughts. When you catch negative ones, try to think of something good instead. Corny, but it helps.

26. Jealousy doesn’t help. Many people obsess about others who are successful or happy. That gets you nowhere, fast. Instead, be happy for them. Then focus on yourself, and what you do right.

27. Stop watching and reading news. Sure, this sounds like a head-in-the-sand suggestion. But really, if you give this a try, you won’t miss a thing. And instead, you can focus on reading books and listening to music that lifts you up.

28. Learn something new. It’s strange how many of us are afraid to try new things, or admit we don’t know something. But learning new skills or new information is one of the most fun things there is to do. Give it a try.

29. Check out nature. Go and watch a sunrise or sunset. Watch the water, whether that’s a river or ocean or lake. Watch the stars, or the clouds. Watch animals. Watch people. Watch children. And be inspired by it all.

30. Laugh some more. When you are in the middle of a bad situation, look around you, realize the absurdity of the situation, and just laugh. In a year, no one will care. In two years, you’ll be laughing at this anyway. So laugh now, and be happy now.
By funinlife.wordpress.com

Dec 18, 2007

0

Fun Questionnaire

One of my Gather contacts posted this and asked her contacts if they would be interested in reposting their own. It's pretty fun - so here goes:

1. Were you named after anyone? I think my Dad had a friend by the name of April back in school...thus it becoming my name.
2. When was the last time you cried? Probably a few nights ago.
3. Do you like your handwriting? Not really, but it's legible!
4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Honey-roasted turkey.
5. Do you have kids? Yes-4 daughters, 2 sons, and one step-daughter.
6. If you were another person would you be friends with you? Of course! Though I'd think I was a little loopy. :)
7. Do you use sarcasm? NoOo...haha. Yes, yes I do.
8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes I do.
9. Would you bungee jump? Maybe...or maybe not.
10. What is your favorite cereal? Honestly I hate cereal, I haven't eaten it in a long time.
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Not usually.
12. Do you think you are strong? I like to think so.
13. What is your favorite ice cream? Cherry Garcia
14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Eyes
15. Red or Pink? That's tough, can I have both together?
16. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My crooked teeth.
17. Who do you miss the most? My oldest daughter, who is up in CT right now.
18. What color pants & shoes are you wearing? Blue Jeans and no shoes.
19. What was the last thing you ate? An egg salad sandwich (I've been on an egg salad kick lately).
20. What are you listening to right now? The sound of my typing.
21. If you were a Crayon, what color would you be? Red
22. Favorite Smells? Roses, the air after a thunderstorm.
23. Who was the last person you spoke w/ on the phone? My husband
24. Favorite sport(s) to watch? I don't really watch sports, would rather play!
25. Hair color? Blonde by choice, light brown naturally.
26. Eye color? blue-green
27. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Contacts, I haven't bought a pair of glasses in years though I should.
28. Favorite food? Pasta
29. Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings
30. Last movie you watched? I think it was "Till Death Do Us Part"
31. What color shirt are you wearing? Blue
32. Summer or Winter? Summer
33. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
34. Favorite Dessert? Cheesecake with strawberries
35. What books are you reading right now? None at the moment.
36. What is on your mouse pad? A game my husband used to play, Max Payne.
37. What did you watch on TV last night? Nothing.
38. Favorite sound? Silence (I think I've explained this before...hehe).
39. Rolling Stones or Beatles? The Beatles
40. Where's the farthest you've been from home? California
41. Where were you born? Norwich, Connecticut

Dec 17, 2007

0

Are We Having Fun Yet?

The other day, an online friend of whom I am quite fond made the extravagant claim that, were we to be pals in real life, she could teach me how to have fun. I was skeptical of her ability (or indeed, anyone's) to accomplish this. I've been thinking about it ever since, and wondering why I don't ever seem to have fun. I do have experiences I would consider to be satisfying, or enjoyable, but not "fun." I tried to define what I think fun actually is, and had a hard time figuring it out. I know it when I see it. Children seem to have fun playing, and so do my cats. Other adults seem to have fun at parties, or doing things like skiing. I came to the conclusion that "fun" involves: 1) an absence of need to accomplish anything concrete, and 2) a certain degree of abandon, or un-selfconsciousness.

As any of my readers will readily ascertain, both 1) and 2) are utterly foreign to my nature. I remember reading a book about Myers-Briggs personality typing a while ago, and coming out as an INTJ -- as part of the discussion of this personality type, there was a sentence that said: "It's almost heartbreaking to watch this type of person try to enjoy himself." I hadn't thought about that in a long time, but it came back to me as I was considering this issue.

I then started to wonder whether it's even important for me to be able to have fun. Perhaps I have a different internal definition of what "fun" is. I don't feel at ease unless I am doing something I consider to be worthwhile. The things that I see people doing for fun usually strike me as a complete waste of time (getting drunk, for example). Not too long ago, I was on my way to a chamber music concert, and someone said to me: "Have fun!" I was insulted by this, on some visceral level. I wasn't going in order to have fun. I was going to Get Something Out of It, which I did. It's quite important to me to Get Something Out of Things, which seems in some way adversarial to many people's concept of fun.

If I were going to cast a vote in favor of what I really need out of life, "fun" wouldn't be on the list. "Peace" would be the first item. This may explain why, in my unstructured leisure time, what I really like to do is sleep. Maybe I'd need less sleep if I enjoyed myself more. I don't know. In some sense I enjoyed writing this post, but I wouldn't say I had fun doing it.

Via David Rochester

Oct 22, 2007

0

Pleasure and Torture

What's the difference between pleasure and torture?

Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

Devil
Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?
A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face theconsequences.

Oct 20, 2007

0

Funny conversation

Paul : You drive moto-taxi everyday?

Jame : Yes, sir !

Pual : You not creative!! why not you think? make money many many more!! you not have idea??

Jame : I suppose I could give you some lessons to improve your english!!!

Oct 19, 2007

0

Funny interview, US Embassy Interview

A man was interviewed at US Embassy for a VISA.

Consul: What is your name?
Arab: Alexandro Marero
Consul: Sex?
Arab: 10 times a week.
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab: Both male and female and sometimes even CAMALS.
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab: Yes, cows and dogs too!!!
Consul: Man,..........isn't it hostile?
Arab: Horse style, dog style, any style!!!
Consult: Oh!...........dear!!!
Arab: Deer? No, deer, they run too fast!!!!

Oct 8, 2007

0

Love and hate letter

Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative. This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However,the girl's father does not like him and wants them stop their relationship......and so.. the boy wrote this letter to the girl. He knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter first

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter tothe girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THELINES", meaning- only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd No.)
So.. please try reading it again! It's so smart &

http://123poem.wordpress.com/

Oct 7, 2007

0

Funny Quotes On Marriage Day

"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." -Woody Allen.
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." -Rodney Dangerfield.
"Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man'sgenitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams.
"A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two peopleremembering the same thing." -Duane Dewel.
"When you see a married couple walking down the street, the onethat's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad." -Helen Rowland
"I have never really understood this liking for war. It panders toinstincts already well catered for in any respectable domestic establishment."-Alan Bennett

"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheatin Europe." -Jackie Mason
"Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in thehope of pulling out an eel." -Leonardo Di Vinci.
"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't likeand give her a house." -Lewis Grizzard.
"I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out towhom it may concern." -Mickey Rooney.
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield.
"The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money." -Johnny Carson
http://123poem.wordpress.com/

0

What it is good to be a man

Your belly usually hides your big hips.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too "icky".
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You can kill your own food.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.