30 Happiness Tips: Program Your Life for Optimum Enjoyment

For many of us, the goal of life isn’t ultimate wealth, a massive amount of stuff, or the perfect car. It’s happiness, plain and simple.
Some people may be created happier than others, with enjoyment of life programmed into their hardwiring. For others, getting to happiness isn’t always that simple. You weren’t programmed that way.
But like any programming, yours can be changed. Rewrite your life program to include as many of the following tips as appeal to you, and the ultimate goal of happiness can be yours. If you’ve already achieved complete happiness, well done!

1. Experiment to find out what makes you happy. Different things make different people happy. If you aren’t sure what your hot spots are, experiment. Try different things out. Find out what you enjoy most. The answers just might surprise you. Try a few of the following for starters.

2. Surround yourself with others who are happy. If you are around angry, depressed or sad people, it will transfer to you. You can’t help it. But if you’re around people who are happy, that will also transfer to you. You’ll also learn their habits, and learn to react the way they do when something bad happens. Slowly weed out the negative influences on your life and replace them with positive ones.

3. Count your blessings. When something bad happens to you, try not to focus on it. Instead, take a minute to count your blessings. Everyone has good things in their lives, whether it is health or loved ones or whatever.

4. Gratitude sessions. Along those lines, it is a good practice to have a daily gratitude session. Think about what you have to be thankful for, and silently thank those who have done something good for you in some way. If you have time, take the time to call them or email them to thank them.

5. Think solutions. Instead of thinking about problems, move to the next step: how to solve it. When someone says to me, “Oh, this is so hard,” or “Oh, I can’t seem to do this,” or “Man, we don’t have any more of that,” I just ask them, “Well, what’s the solution?” If you develop solution-oriented thinking, you’ll be much happier.

6. Connect with others. As much as possible, spend time with those you love, and with others who you enjoy. It could be a simple phone call, or a short visit. Or take a day with the person or people you’d like to spend time with. Have a conversation, do things together, be intimate.

7. Accept things. We are often unaware of it, but we usually want things or people or ourselves to change. And that’s a sure way to lead to unhappiness, because we cannot control the world. We have to accept things as they are, try to understand them, even love them. Including and most especially ourselves: accept who you are, allow yourself to be yourself, try to understand and love yourself. Then do the same with the others in your life.

8. Take time to savor life. Instead of rushing from one thing to another, resolve to have less to do each day, less appointments and fewer tasks. Then do each thing slowly, with mindfulness and ease, and try to be present in the moment. And truly enjoy whatever it is you do, from talking to eating to walking to just sitting.

9. Notice small things. Along the same lines, try to notice when you feel good, or you’re not suffering, or you are tasting something really delicious, or you feel something cold or hot, anything. Noticing the little things will help keep you focused on the present.

10. Treat yourself. Take a few minutes each day to give yourself a little treat, whether that’s something like chocolate or berries, or a bubble bath, or walking barefoot in the grass, or taking a nap. Whatever it is, treat yourself. You deserve it.

11. This shall pass. When bad things happen, and you’re having trouble accepting it, think to yourself the same thing the ancients did: “This, too, shall pass.” And it will. And you’ll survive.

12. Volunteer. When you give to others, whether that’s money or the stuff you no longer need or your time and love, you become happier. It’s true. Take 5 minutes today to call a charity and volunteer to donate some time sometime this month. It will make a big difference in your life.

13. Follow your passions. If you do what you love to do, especially for a living, you wil be extremely happy. This is one of the best things you can do. If it seems impossible, don’t give up. Others have done it and you can too.

14. Look at your achievements. Instead of looking at what you haven’t done, or what you’ve failed at, think about what you have done. Many times that’s much more than we realize.

15. Laugh. Just the simple act of laughing can make you happier. Watch a funny movie, tell jokes, read a book by Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, go to humor sites on the Internet. And laugh your head off.

16. Realize that you deserve it. You deserve happiness. That simple statement is actually profound for many people, as they don’t believe they really deserve to be happy. It’s often unconscious. If you feel that within yourself, you need to first realize that you deserve happiness. Repeat it if necessary.

17. Get into the flow. There is a state of doing known as Flow, which is when you completely lose yourself in a task and forget about the world around you. It leads to happiness, and productivity. Set yourself up for it by clearing distractions, giving yourself a challenging (but accomplishable) task, and making it something that you like doing. Then try to lose yourself in that task.

18. Have a goal. Too many goals will lead to ineffectiveness. Try to choose one goal and really focus on it. And work to accomplish it. Goals lead to happiness, if you make progress on them.
19. Get inspired. Take time to read blogs or books or magazine articles about success stories related to what you want to do. It will get you energized.

20. Celebrate. When you do something right, when you accomplish something, when you feel like it, reward yourself. Celebrate. Have fun, and pat yourself on the back.

21. Autonomy. Try to have at least one area in your life where you have autonomy. It’s best if this is at work, but if not, find another place, such as a hobby or civic activity. You need to be in control of what you do to be happy.

22. Spend time doing something you love. Make room in your life by eliminating some of the commitments you don’t really like doing, and replacing them with something you truly love.

23. Show little acts of kindness. Each day, try to be kind to others in little ways, opening doors, smiling, giving up your place in line.

24. Exercise. Just a short walk or run could lift your spirits and reduce stress. Nothing difficult. Just get outside and move.

25. Catch negative thoughts. Monitor your thoughts. When you catch negative ones, try to think of something good instead. Corny, but it helps.

26. Jealousy doesn’t help. Many people obsess about others who are successful or happy. That gets you nowhere, fast. Instead, be happy for them. Then focus on yourself, and what you do right.

27. Stop watching and reading news. Sure, this sounds like a head-in-the-sand suggestion. But really, if you give this a try, you won’t miss a thing. And instead, you can focus on reading books and listening to music that lifts you up.

28. Learn something new. It’s strange how many of us are afraid to try new things, or admit we don’t know something. But learning new skills or new information is one of the most fun things there is to do. Give it a try.

29. Check out nature. Go and watch a sunrise or sunset. Watch the water, whether that’s a river or ocean or lake. Watch the stars, or the clouds. Watch animals. Watch people. Watch children. And be inspired by it all.

30. Laugh some more. When you are in the middle of a bad situation, look around you, realize the absurdity of the situation, and just laugh. In a year, no one will care. In two years, you’ll be laughing at this anyway. So laugh now, and be happy now.

By funinlife.wordpress.com

Fun Questionnaire

One of my Gather contacts posted this and asked her contacts if they would be interested in reposting their own. It's pretty fun - so here goes:

1. Were you named after anyone? I think my Dad had a friend by the name of April back in school...thus it becoming my name.
2. When was the last time you cried? Probably a few nights ago.
3. Do you like your handwriting? Not really, but it's legible!
4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Honey-roasted turkey.
5. Do you have kids? Yes-4 daughters, 2 sons, and one step-daughter.
6. If you were another person would you be friends with you? Of course! Though I'd think I was a little loopy. :)
7. Do you use sarcasm? NoOo...haha. Yes, yes I do.
8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes I do.
9. Would you bungee jump? Maybe...or maybe not.
10. What is your favorite cereal? Honestly I hate cereal, I haven't eaten it in a long time.
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Not usually.
12. Do you think you are strong? I like to think so.
13. What is your favorite ice cream? Cherry Garcia
14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Eyes
15. Red or Pink? That's tough, can I have both together?
16. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My crooked teeth.
17. Who do you miss the most? My oldest daughter, who is up in CT right now.
18. What color pants & shoes are you wearing? Blue Jeans and no shoes.
19. What was the last thing you ate? An egg salad sandwich (I've been on an egg salad kick lately).
20. What are you listening to right now? The sound of my typing.
21. If you were a Crayon, what color would you be? Red
22. Favorite Smells? Roses, the air after a thunderstorm.
23. Who was the last person you spoke w/ on the phone? My husband
24. Favorite sport(s) to watch? I don't really watch sports, would rather play!
25. Hair color? Blonde by choice, light brown naturally.
26. Eye color? blue-green
27. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Contacts, I haven't bought a pair of glasses in years though I should.
28. Favorite food? Pasta
29. Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings
30. Last movie you watched? I think it was "Till Death Do Us Part"
31. What color shirt are you wearing? Blue
32. Summer or Winter? Summer
33. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
34. Favorite Dessert? Cheesecake with strawberries
35. What books are you reading right now? None at the moment.
36. What is on your mouse pad? A game my husband used to play, Max Payne.
37. What did you watch on TV last night? Nothing.
38. Favorite sound? Silence (I think I've explained this before...hehe).
39. Rolling Stones or Beatles? The Beatles
40. Where's the farthest you've been from home? California
41. Where were you born? Norwich, Connecticut

Are We Having Fun Yet?

The other day, an online friend of whom I am quite fond made the extravagant claim that, were we to be pals in real life, she could teach me how to have fun. I was skeptical of her ability (or indeed, anyone's) to accomplish this. I've been thinking about it ever since, and wondering why I don't ever seem to have fun. I do have experiences I would consider to be satisfying, or enjoyable, but not "fun." I tried to define what I think fun actually is, and had a hard time figuring it out. I know it when I see it. Children seem to have fun playing, and so do my cats. Other adults seem to have fun at parties, or doing things like skiing. I came to the conclusion that "fun" involves: 1) an absence of need to accomplish anything concrete, and 2) a certain degree of abandon, or un-selfconsciousness.

As any of my readers will readily ascertain, both 1) and 2) are utterly foreign to my nature. I remember reading a book about Myers-Briggs personality typing a while ago, and coming out as an INTJ -- as part of the discussion of this personality type, there was a sentence that said: "It's almost heartbreaking to watch this type of person try to enjoy himself." I hadn't thought about that in a long time, but it came back to me as I was considering this issue.

I then started to wonder whether it's even important for me to be able to have fun. Perhaps I have a different internal definition of what "fun" is. I don't feel at ease unless I am doing something I consider to be worthwhile. The things that I see people doing for fun usually strike me as a complete waste of time (getting drunk, for example). Not too long ago, I was on my way to a chamber music concert, and someone said to me: "Have fun!" I was insulted by this, on some visceral level. I wasn't going in order to have fun. I was going to Get Something Out of It, which I did. It's quite important to me to Get Something Out of Things, which seems in some way adversarial to many people's concept of fun.

If I were going to cast a vote in favor of what I really need out of life, "fun" wouldn't be on the list. "Peace" would be the first item. This may explain why, in my unstructured leisure time, what I really like to do is sleep. Maybe I'd need less sleep if I enjoyed myself more. I don't know. In some sense I enjoyed writing this post, but I wouldn't say I had fun doing it.

Via David Rochester

STRESS: ARE YOU A MAKER, TAKER OR BREAKER?

Some years ago when my family was living in Europe, managing the financial operations of an American corporation, we were in the US for annual home leave and were invited to have dinner with my boss at his home. He was a high achieving corporate vice president and reported directly to the president and founder of the company. During dinner the subject turned to upper management employee who had just been told he needed to be treated for the effects stress and high blood pressure. My boss commented that he didn’t understand it; he felt no stress and his blood pressure were fine. His wife jumped in and said, “you don’t have stress or high blood pressure, you create stress and high blood pressure in others”.

We now more fully understand the negative effects on stress on out bodies and behaviors and recognize that stress can cause or contribute to serious physical conditions and interpersonal relations. Alcohol and drug abuse, financial irresponsibility, eating disorders, domestic violence and child abuse and neglect can all have their roots in feelings of stress.

How any person deals with stress is based on their personality, life experiences and the specific situation. Feeling stress in life threatening situations is certainly normal and, some would say, a survival characteristic, but our modern society has created conditions where many people feel stressed out as their normal condition, resulting in many physical, psychological and emotional dysfunctions.

I recognize three basic types of personalities relating to stress:

STRESS MAKERS: These are the people create stress in other by being demanding, angry, confrontational, or just plain unreasonable and difficult to deal with. My boss was not one of these types, he was brilliant and hard working, but simply had unrealistic expectations about what other people could accomplish. He expected everyone who worked for him to be as smart and hard working as he was. I had a good relationship with him because I had received several promotions as the result of my performance in several difficult assignments and my successes made him look good.

STRESS TAKERS: These are the people who seem to create stress in their lives as if it was their main reason for existence. They are constantly upset and distressed about some aspect of their lives. There may or not be a rational basis for their feelings of stress, but they always seem to have something to stress about. The stress they feel will often result in them creating additional stress because they make errors and misjudgments or turn to drugs, alcohol, other harmful behaviors to relieve their stress. They can also make themselves feel less stress by passing their stress along to other family members, friends for co-workers, expanding the circle of stress.

STRESS BREAKERS: Stress breakers are those persons who by their personality, education, experience, or a combination of all three, are capable of helping stress makers and takers to restore a more balanced approach to the stress that we all feel in our lives. This is one of the major functions of the mental health community; to help individuals solve stressful issues in their lives and understand how to avoid creating more stress.

Many people who are good are defusing stress have little or no formal training in mental health; they are simply calm, thoughtful, helpful people who have a personality that allows them to help the stressed-out people to find more balance in their lives.

Obviously this is a complex issue. We are discovering that some aspects of our personality may be influenced by our genetic heritage. Certainly our parents and general environment influence our attitudes and reactions to stress, as do our choices about how we live our lives and the values we embrace.

The damage stress can do to us and others are becoming more fully understood. Stress can be, and is in some cases is, a real killer. Stress does damage to our physical, mental and emotional health, resulting in higher healthcare costs, lost productivity and premature death. I am sure that untreated stress is to some degree responsible for the family murder/suicides that result in the loss of entire families. Each of us needs to inventory our own life stressors and take action to seek help to reduce or eliminate the sources of the stress.

If your life stresses are under control, reach out to family, friends and co-workers who seem to be having difficulties managing the stress in their lives and help them locate sources of help. Your local mental health association or United Way should be able to provide you with a starting point.

Via Duane B. greenville, SC

How to have a successful Marriage

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, “What a peaceful & loving couple “. The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

The Husband replied: “Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America, ” explained the man. “We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip, down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, “That’s once. “

“We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, “That’s twice. “

“We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, “What’s wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy?? ” She looked at ME, and quietly said, “That’s once. “

“And from that moment…..we have lived happily every after. “

Via funinlife.wordpress.com

Monkey lesson

In one classroom, teacher was teaching her students.

Teacher: There is one monkey, he has one banana and one watermelon, and one apple. There are too many things but at the end he get nothing because the farmer is coming. According to this what can you learn?

Teacher asked students to answer but no one could answer so she called Po Po.

Po Po: The monkey tries to teach us that we need to eat everything we have...

Late for school

Po Po was late for a weekend class so her teacher asked her.

Teacher: Po Po, you know that we have extra class during this weekend, why are still late?
Po Po: Atually I should have been for fishing with my dad but he doesnot allow me to go with him. That is why I am late.
Teacher: He is right. He doesnot allow you to go because he wants you to study. You know study is very important!
Po Po: Coz he has only one fishing rod....

Family responsibility

A boy and a girl are having conversation together:

Boy: In my family, everyone have their own responsibility!
Girl: Oh that is great!
Boy: Sure! My father has to wash dishes and my mother has to cook.
Girl: And how about you?
Boy: For me my responsibility is to eat!

Cleaver student

Jame is a very cleaver but lazy student in the class. One day the teacher asked every students needed to draw a picture of anything they wanted.

When the time come, the teacher collected everyone pictures. Jame submitted his paper just with his name.

Teacher corrected everyone picture untill the picture of one student which just on Jame's picture. Teacher admired the picture with colorful and good. It was the picture of a cat.

When the teacher turned to the next picture which was Jame's picture, teacher asked:

Teacher: Jame, where is the picture.
Jame: I drew the picture already.
Teacher: I can't see nothing on your paper.
Jame: I drew a picture of a fish.
Teacher: Where is your fish?
Jame: My fish was eaten by the cat already.

More than 90 FREE

A new cinema just started its first film so they advertised that anyone older than 70 could watch the film for free. When the film started, many old people whose age more than 70 came to the cinema so they couldn't get any money.

Next day, they advertised that anyone older than 90 could watch the film for free. When the film started, again many old people whose age more than 90 came to the cinema so they couldn't get any money.

They were very angry so they advertised that anyone older than 90 come with their parents can watch the film free. When the film started, no one came they still couldn't get any money.

Next is your turn

A lady suspected that her husband had another girl so she decided to buy a gun to kill her husband. After buying the gun, when she backed home she saw her husband really slept with another girl.

Feeling very depress she took the and pointed to her head. Her husband seeing her was trying to kill herself said that:

Husband: No! No! Don't do like this!

Wife: Shut up! After me is your turn!

Not remember

One day a man tried to concentrate to ask his girlfriend to marry.

"Darling! would you marry me?", the man said.

After thinking a little while she relied " yes, I accept".

After hearing like this, the man was so happy and took her back home. The man usually forget so at night when we was about to go to bad he forgot if she accept to marry him or not. He called her.

"Darling! did you accept to marry me or not this afternoon?" the man asked.

"I accept to marry you. Thank for asking me about it coz I also forget who ask me to marry too." the girl reply.

The same

A lady is telling her boyfriend about their love:

Lady: Darling! Now our love is more likely to be the same as Romeo and Juliet!!!

Man: Why? Romantic?

Lady: What? The same that even my brother want to kill you!!! So we should break up now and love othere without such burdom...

First Reaction

Two teenager are having a converstion:

First teenager: When you see a beautiful lady, what is your first raction?

Second teenager: Firt, I look around her.

First teenager: Why you look around? Not look at her?

Second teenager: Look around to know if she has boyfriend or not!!!!

Teacher's punishment

In one classroom, the teacher clearified the disciplinary to students "If anyone found chatting while teaching, he or she must stand out side classroom and say what they are chatting out loud."

One day just when the teacher arrived, he found that Jack was chatting with his classmat.

Teacher: "Jack, you should know what you should do, ok?"

Jack without a word knowing he was wrong so he wen out and shout that "Teacher forget zipping, teacher forget zipping!!!"

Cleaver man

A man was having dinner at his girlfriend's house. When he was about to leave her house, it started to rain heavily. His girlfriend asked him to stay over night at her house. After thinking for a little while, he decided to stay. The girl went to kitchen to take some desert for him but when she out, she couldn't find him.

A while later, the man arrive at the door with his body wet. The girl asked him "where have you been?" The man replied "I just went to my house to take my pillo"

Man and Superman

Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?

Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser

Love card

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them

Pleasure and Torture

What's the difference between pleasure and torture?

Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

Devil

Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?
A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face theconsequences.

Funny conversation

Paul : You drive moto-taxi everyday?

Jame : Yes, sir !

Pual : You not creative!! why not you think? make money many many more!! you not have idea??

Jame : I suppose I could give you some lessons to improve your english!!!

He Is Arisen

He Is Arisen

On the first day of the week, as the sun did arise,
The women went to the cave;
Bearing spices sweet to anoint the head and feet
Of the crucified Lord where He lay.
Mary Magdelena led the way
with Mary the mother of James;
Joanna and the others walking just behind
On the morning of the third day.

As they approached the place where Jesus lay,
They saw that the stone had been rolled away.
Sitting on the stone, all dressed in white,
Was the angel of the Lord who addressed their fright saying"Fear ye not: I know that ye seek Jesus.
Why seek ye the living among the dead?
He is not here. He is not here,
He is arisen as He said."
He is arisen.
Alleluia, Amen.

"Come and look at the place where the Savior did lie.
See the linen cloths that He wore.
Now go and tell the world what you have seen,
And tell them that I say,

"Fear ye not: I know that ye seek Jesus.
Why seek ye the living among the dead?
He is not here. He is not here,
He is arisen as He said."

Funny interview, US Embassy Interview

A man was interviewed at US Embassy for a VISA.

Consul: What is your name?
Arab: Alexandro Marero
Consul: Sex?
Arab: 10 times a week.
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab: Both male and female and sometimes even CAMALS.
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab: Yes, cows and dogs too!!!
Consul: Man,..........isn't it hostile?
Arab: Horse style, dog style, any style!!!
Consult: Oh!...........dear!!!
Arab: Deer? No, deer, they run too fast!!!!

SMS Love

I want to give my health to you! why because I love you only one. I love you only one.

There is one word that I really find it hard just to say it but now I can't hold it anymore. I LOVE YOU.

You are my thought every minute of the day, in my dreamsevery hour night.

Full love you of full my life and you are the first.

Have a check at http://smstown.blogspot.com/ for more sms detail.

Things I Have Learn From A Dog

When loved ones come home run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity of a joy ride.

Allow the wind and fresh air in your face to be pure ecstasy.

If what you want lies buried, dig till you find it.

Never pretend to be somthing you are not .

No matter how often you are scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Run, romp and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop and lie on your back in the grass.

On hot days drink lots of water and lie in the shade of a tree.

Be loyal.

When your happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

When it's in your best interests, practice obedience.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm, but stop when you've had enough.


And most of all...when someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently .

Why we send

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word,
maybe this could explain:

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do - you forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.

To let you know that: you are still remembered,
you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for,
you are still wanted, guess what you get? A forwarded joke from me.

So my friend, next time if you get a joke, don't think that I have sent you just a joke, but that...

I Have Thought of You Today!

You are my angel

Do You Remember All The Good Times
And Bad Times That We Shared,
All The Hopes And Dreams We Had
Nothing Else Could Ever Compare.

There Will Always Be A Place
Down Deep Inside My Heart,
A Special Place Where Only You
Will Occupy That Part.

I Will Always Remember
All The Beauty And The Grace,
Your Smile As Bright As Sunshine
And Your Beautiful Angelic Face.

The Way Your Body Felt
As I Held You Close To Me,
In My Heart And In My Soul
Is Where You'll Always Be.

God Gave Me An Angel
To Call My Very Own,
Now We'll Always Be Together
From This Moment On.

The Rules of Chocolet

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit,
so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite
and you'll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place.
Isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.
But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.
Calories are afraid of heights,
and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet?
Don't they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose.
An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

Things To Do For A Dateless Valentine's Day

Here's a quick guide to surviving Feb. 14 without ripping your hair out - or other people's hair, for that matter!

Wear black, and lots of it.

If someone else in the office has received flowers, chocolate, singing telegrams, and other forms of dating expressions, glare at them. Snarling and grunting optional.

Same goes for anyone wearing excessive amounts of red. Especially if they are wearing heart-shaped items like pins.

Later in the day, eat the chocolate, run the flowers through a food processor, and beat the crap out of the singing telegram people (Most people will thank you for this, anyway).

For the rest of the day, labor over the effect all that chocolate is gonna have on your waistline.

Return home and destroy at least one item given to you by an ex. Feel guilty. Call the ex. Make up story about having a hot date.

Watch TV. Turn off TV after noticing every channel is airing a clone of "While You Were Sleeping" or, worse yet, a "Friends" Valentine's Day.

Realize how lame not having a hot date is. Head to bar.

Plot massive torture of anyone who shows up at the bar with a date. Slow torture if the couple is in anything above semi-formal dress.

Massive quantities of alcohol. Beergoggling. Wake up next to someone - male or female - with way too much facial hair.

Remember (and regret) this incident for the next 364 days. Complain about never having a good V-Day.

Wait until some bizarre calendar date Hallmark has labeled "Sweetest Day." Rinse, lather, repeat to get in practice for next V-Day

SMS Meaning

SMS Meaning

Have a check at http://smstown.blogspot.com/ for more sms detail.

• :-)
  Smiley
  
• (-:
  Also smiling
  
• :)
  Smiling without a nose
  
• :' )
  Happy and crying
  
• :-( )
  Smiling with mouth open
  
• 8-)
  Smiling with glasses
  
• [:-)
  Smiling with walkman
  
• :-)8
  Smiling with bow tie
  
• {:-)
  Smiling with hair
  
• d:-)
  Smiling with cap
  
• C:-)
  Smiling with top hat
  
• (:-)
  Smiling with helmet
  
• :-)=
  Smiling with a beard
  
• &:-)
  Smiling with curls
  
• #:-)
  Smiling with a fur hat
  
• :-D
  Laugher
  
• ;-)
  Twinkle
  
• ;)
  Twinkle, without nose
  
• :-*
  Kiss
  
• @}--\-,---
  A rose
  
• :-(
  Sad
  
• :(
  Sad, without nose
  
• :'-(
  Crying
  
• :-c
  Unhappy
  
• :-
  Angry
  
• :-(0)
  Shouting
  
• :-<>
• >:-(
  Very angry
  
• :-O
  Wow
  
• :-
  Determined
  
• :-*
  Bitter
  
• O :-)
  An angel
  
• :-9
  Salivating
  
• :-/:-I
  No face/poker face
  
• :-<>
  Surprised
  
• %-6
  Not very clever
  
• :-( )
  Shocked
  
• :-~)
  Having a cold
  
• :-o zz
  Bored
  
• :-\
  Sceptical
  
• : @
  Shouting
  
• :-o
  Appalled
  
• :-X
  Not saying a word
  
• -I
  Sleeping
  
• -O
  Snoring
• %-}
  Intoxicated
  
• :-v
  Talking
  
• -w
  Talking with two tongues
  
• B-)
  Sunglasses
  
• B:-)
  Sunglasses on head
  
• 8:-)
  Glasses on head
  
• {:-)
  Toupee
  
• }:-(
  Toupee blowing in the wind
  
• =:-)=
  Uncle Sam
  
• <:- Monk / Nun
• :^)
  Broken nose
  
• -:-)
  Punk
  
• @:-)
  Using a turban
  
• :=)
  Two noses
  
• :-#
  Razes
  
• <-) Chinese
• :-{)
  With a moustache
  
• :-{}
  Lip stick
  
• :-?
  Smoking a pipe
  

Y

Y! Typical Man
YBS You’ll be Sorry

X

X! Typical Woman
X Kiss
XclusvlyUrs Exclusively Yours

W

W4u Waiting for you

WAN2 Want to

WLUMRyMe Will you marry Me?

WRT With respect to

WUWH Wish you were here

V

VRI Very

U

U You
UR Y ou are
URT1 Your are the one

T

T+ Think positive
T2ul Talk to you later
TDTU Totally devoted to you
Thx ThanksT2Go Time to Go
TIC Tounge in Cheek
TMIY Take me Im yours
TTFN Ta ta for now.

S

SC Stay cool
SETE Smiling Ear to Ear
SO Significant Other
SOL sooner or later
SME1 Some One
SRY Sorry
SWALK Sent with a loving Kiss
SWG Scientific Wild Guess

R

R Are
RMB Ring my Bell
ROTFL Roll on the floor laughing
RU? Are you?
RUOK? Are you Ok?

Q

QT Cutie

P

PCM Please call me
PPL People

O

O4U only for you
OIC Oh, I see
OTOH On the other hand

N

NA No access
NC No comment
NE Any
NE1 AnyoneNo1 No-One
NWO No way out

M

M$ULkeCrZ Miss you like Crazy!

M8 mate

MC merry Christmas

MGB May God Bless

Mob Mobile

MYOB Mind your own Business

L

L8 Late
L8r Later
Lol laughing out loud
LTNC Long time no see
LtsGt2gthr Lets get together

K

KC keep coo
lKHUF know how you fee
lKIT Keep in touch
KOTC Kiss on the cheek
KOTL Kiss on the lips

J

J4F just for fun
JFK Just for kicks
JstCllMe Just call Me

I

IDK I dont know
IGotUBabe Ive got you Babe
IIRC If I recall correctly
IMHO In my humble opinion
IMI I mean it
ILU I love You
IMBLuv It must be Love
IOW In other words...
IOU I owe you
IUSS If you say so

H

h2cus Hope to see you soon
H8 Hate
HAGN Have a good night
HAND Have a nice day
HldMeCls Hold me close
Ht4U Hot for You
H&K Hugs and Kisses

G

GF Girlfirend
GG Good Game
GMeSumLuvin Give me some lovin’!
Gr8 Great
GSOH Good Salary, Own Home
GTSY Glad to see you

F

F? Friends
F2F face to face
F2T Free to talk
FITB Fill in the Blank
FYEO For your eyes only
FYA For your amusement
FYI For your information

E

E2eg Ear to ear grin
EOD End of discussion
EOL End of lecture

D

Dk Don't know
Dur? Do you remember
DEN Drink Every Night

C

Cld9? Cloud 9?
Cm Call me
Cu See you
CUIMD See you in my dreams
Cul See you later
CUL8R See you later

B

B4 Before
BBFN Bye Bye for now.
BBS Be back soon
BBSD Be back soon darling
BCNU Be seein' you
BF Boy Friend
BGWM Be gentle with me (please)
BRB Be right back
BTW By the way

B

B4 Before
BBFN Bye Bye for now.
BBS Be back soon
BBSD Be back soon darling
BCNU Be seein' you
BF Boy Friend
BGWM Be gentle with me (please)
BRB Be right back
BTW By the way

A

AAM: As a matter of fact.

AB: Ah Bless!

ADctd2uv: Addicted to Love

AFAIK: As far as I know

AKA Also known as

ALlWanIsU All I want is You

AML All my love

ASAP As soon as possible

ATB All the best

ATW At the weekend

AWHFY Are we having fun yet

Love and hate letter

Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative. This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However,the girl's father does not like him and wants them stop their relationship......and so.. the boy wrote this letter to the girl. He knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter first

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter tothe girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THELINES", meaning- only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd No.)
So.. please try reading it again! It's so smart &

http://123poem.wordpress.com/

Funny Quotes On Marriage Day

"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." -Woody Allen.
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." -Rodney Dangerfield.
"Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man'sgenitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams.
"A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two peopleremembering the same thing." -Duane Dewel.
"When you see a married couple walking down the street, the onethat's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad." -Helen Rowland
"I have never really understood this liking for war. It panders toinstincts already well catered for in any respectable domestic establishment."-Alan Bennett

"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheatin Europe." -Jackie Mason
"Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in thehope of pulling out an eel." -Leonardo Di Vinci.
"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't likeand give her a house." -Lewis Grizzard.
"I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out towhom it may concern." -Mickey Rooney.
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield.
"The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money." -Johnny Carson
http://123poem.wordpress.com/

Love

Love is like a battle which never end and can't avoide
Love will come to you even you don't want it
Love is easy to start but so hard to end
Love is so sweet at the start but so hurt to break

What it is good to be a man

Your belly usually hides your big hips.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too "icky".
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You can kill your own food.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.